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Why you shouldn't compare your financial situation to your neighbor's.

Sep 18
2 min read

Updated: Sep 21

In my years as a financial advisor, I've encountered countless high-earning professionals plagued by the same troubling question: "I make good money, so why am I still struggling?" These conversations inevitably spiral into self-doubt and harsh self-judgment. Despite impressive salaries, they feel perpetually behind, watching as peers seemingly glide through life's financial demands with enviable ease. The cruel math of their situation defies logic—similar income to their friends, yet drastically different financial realities.


Here's the truth that explains this mystery: That neighbor you've been frustratingly comparing yourself to likely inherited or was gifted substantial money. Yes, they probably also have high-paying, impressive jobs. But, the hidden advantage—the down payment from parents, the trust fund that paid for education leaving them debt-free, the portfolio quietly transferred during their twenties—remains deliberately unmentioned in casual conversation. Our culture celebrates self-made success stories while quietly burying the prevalence of intergenerational wealth transfers that make financial comfort possible for many.


This collective silence surrounding inherited wealth creates a particularly toxic form of social comparison. When all financial advantages are attributed solely to personal merit or clever money management, those without hidden resources naturally conclude they must be doing something fundamentally wrong. The neighbor with the private school-educated children and regular luxury vacations isn't necessarily more financially astute—they're often simply playing with different starting pieces on the economic game board.


So consider this my public service announcement to those feeling financially inadequate despite working diligently and earning well: The baseline costs of contemporary life—housing, healthcare, education, childcare, retirement savings—are genuinely staggering. Your inability to afford everything your neighbor manages isn't a personal failure; it's frequently a reflection of hidden financial advantages they'd rather not discuss.


Don't torture yourself trying to keep pace with the Joneses unless you too have benefited from Grandpa Jones's generosity. The comparison isn't fair, and was never meant to be.


Comic: woman in robe points at a man in a top hat; speech bubbles mention Mrs. Jones and a boss asking for a raise.

Ms. Money is written by Marisa Rothstein, JD, CFP(t), AEP, and Lead Financial Advisor at Siena Private Wealth, A Member of Advisory Services Network, LLC.
Nothing contained in this article should be construed as investment, legal or tax advice. Consult your tax or legal advisor regarding your situation. To learn more about Siena Private Wealth, visit: www.sienaprivate.com. All information contained herein is derived from sources deemed to be reliable but cannot be guaranteed. All views/opinions expressed in this newsletter are solely those of the author and do not reflect the views/opinions held by Advisory Services Network, LLC.

 
 
 

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